An American Man, Turified

Posted by Jake Olson on October 30, 2008 · 4 Comments 

I used to be a really accomplished personal chef… for myself. As a single, I was a modern American man. I’d cooked my own meals since I was 18 years old, and those meals got better and better as I got older. When at the age of 26 I did the South Beach Diet, I picked up a ton of other cooking skills as I followed their cookbook to a tee… When I arrived in Turkey, I impressed my single Turkish friends at the way I prepared food for myself and sometimes for them. I scoffed at how passive these guys were when it came to taking care of themselves.

But now I find myself as a man 2 1/2 years married and alone for a week. (Rana went to stay with her folks while our house’s cockroach problem gets solved.) She’s been gone for 5 days, I’ve ordered takeout 3 times, I’ve eaten out at Burger King and a few other fast food joints 3 times, I’ve mooched food off of my students’ families, and basically gone crazy without rana cooking for me or telling me what to cook.

Today, I was standing in the kitchen looking at the mess in these pictures asking myself “what has happened to me?”

I called Rana and said “I don’t know what’s happened to me. I feel totally unable to cook for myself now that I’m married.”

“Did you already call for takeout?” She asked with pity.

“I was just about to call McDonalds to have them deliver a combo meal. I’m so hungry and I can’t think of anything to make,” I complained.

Like a good pacifying Turkish wife/mom she walked me through the next step; “Just check in the freezer, isn’t there some Lahmacun** and Kibbi** in there?”

I was like “Oh yea there is! I guess I can cook that.” By “cook” I mean put this food in the oven and wait for it to get warm.

At that point I realized I’ve been Turkified. Turkish men have a ton of positive traits, but this is one I hadn’t wanted to acquire.

*Lahmacun: See my other post about lahmacun
**Kibbi is Arabic for Icli Kofte, namely little balls made of bulgar filled with meat.

This is me “cooking”

I guess being Turkified has it’s advantages. The Kibbi and Lahmacun were great with Suzme Yogurt.

Filed under cross cultural marriage, Life In Turkey